My second son, Ed, has announced his candidacy for president, and aside from a few grammatical glitches, he is eminently qualified. His running mate is a short Mexican man known as Cheeto Bandito, who is actually an American citizen. Wow, way to go Cheeto! (We're still fact-checking). I will be travelling across America for the next couple of weeks raising money for my little boy. My top-of-the-line metal detector should bring in a real chunk of change. To see his platform go to http//smellsfunny.typepad.com. At last a man for the people!