Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tom's Basil Squamous Cell Carcinoma

This morning, Tom awoke and said, “Do I have something on my head?”

I bent reluctantly over him to have a look. I have no stomach for odd skin growths. There was a small, slightly discolored, slightly raised circle on the top of his head.

“You probably ought to have it checked,” I said, not all that alarmed.

About an hour later, the dermatologist’s office calls to say that Dr. Parkinson has two openings in a couple of hours. Do we want them? I don’t, but Tom goes.

Tom hadn’t phoned them. They called out of the blessed blue. I love that kind of sychronicity.

Later, Tom calls me on the cell, which identifies him as Basilio Filbert—we don’t know why—and tells me it was squamous—rhymes with pus. It’s the second most common skin cancer but is very fast growing, and he found it early.

When he gets home, he looks at Squamous Cell Carconomas on the internet. One old man has about a fourth of his head chopped out. One has a huge one on his anus. A woman has a large one on her vulva. Tom wants me to see all of these photographs, but I won’t have it. He holds up his laptop, “You should see this!”

“Get away from me,” I said.

Years ago, my father wanted to show everyone an MRI of his blocked colon.

“No thanks,” I said.

“No thanks,” said my sister.

“Uhh, no,” said my brother.

“I’d like to see it,” Tom said.

The two of them walked out of the room like guys heading for a beer.

Please note that I spared you an image.

12 comments:

Tom Plummer said...

What I've never told you, Louise, is that your father and I did go have a beer. Why do you think we were gone so long?

Sarah said...

I'm glad it was found early. Really glad.

I'm glad it wasn't on his anus.

I'm glad you spared us an image (although think of the possibilities!).

Half of me wants to google Squamous Cell Carconomas right now, the other half of me is screaming, "No, no!"

Sarah said...

Also, isn't it supposed to be "b-a-s-a-l?" When I first glanced at the title I thought you were sharing a recipe.

Ann said...

Oh gosh. TELL SANTA I NEED HIM TO BE OKAY FOR MY PARTY. And also because I love him.

lulu said...

Do you remember how my parents and I would come over on Sunday evenings to come and chat? This story reminds me of one of those conversations.

Louise Plummer said...

Sarah, you made me laugh out loud. A recipe? And you repeated the a-word, which I can't read without giggling, because I'm basically still twelve years old.

Ann, Santa would come to your house with the top of his head chopped off; he loves you so.

Lulu, you were too young for those fireside chats at our house. What is it about our family of potty mouths?

Tom Plummer said...

Sarah, I think you should google some images, but probably not before bed or before a meal. I told the doctor I was glad I didn't wait a month. He said in month it would have been the size of a quarter. In six months, about fist size. The images show a number of people who either couldn't find a doctor, couldn't afford a doctor, or were too stupid to go to a doctor.

Yes, it is spelled basal. Louise often gets me mixed up with recipes.

Thank you, Ann. Santa is just fine. You can count on Santa.

Jacqueline said...

Now that I've read that Tom is OK, I feel comfortable laughing at Sarah's comment. Louise, is there anyone that doesn't giggle at the a-word? Moments before my sister had a colectomy for stage 4 colorectal cancer we laughed out loud saying "anus" as she went into surgery. Tom, xxoo to you and I am so glad you went to the doctor.

Jason Merrell said...

I'm glad Santa is okay. It seems I always 'just miss' actually seeing Santa, but I've experienced his goodness first hand.
Louise, yesterday I wrote "Sometimes synchronicity can knock you on your feet," on my facebook status. I read your blog post after midnight.

erica spelman said...

OK so this was not a cooking entry...so glad it was caught early. and thank you for not sharing the other pics. (Tom's is probably pretty tame by comparison!).(:

Louise Plummer said...

Which is worse? Anus or Vulva? It's a toss-up.

Jung was right about everything.

Marcia said...

vulva is much worse.