I babysat Louis yesterday morning. When it was his nap time, I rocked him to sleep in the rocking chair and made up a little song that I sang softly:"One and one is three. Two and two is five. Three and three is seven. Four and four is nine. Your grandma is stupid and you come from her."
How evil is that? How twisted? He's the dearest, most trusting baby. He hasn't gone through that hideous stage where he only loves his mother. He loves everyone. He smiles so sweetly. I love him like crazy cakes.
And here's what's even more twisted: I was sorry that no one was there to hear me singing these macabre words in my lilting alto voice. There was no audience for this naughty dissonance. I especially missed Sarah, his mother, who has a dark side that you would never suspect. So when she and Sam returned (from the temple no less) I confessed what I had done at lunch. And Sarah laughed, really laughed, just like I knew she would.
Like-minded daughters in law are so satisfying. I have several of them.
8 comments:
Laughing, really laughing, all over again.
Oh, by the way, how dare you tell everyone about my dark side!
No one will believe it.
And I have to live with this.
My best friends mother used to sing the lullabye:
"Go to sleep, little creep!
Or your Mommy will spank you!"
I've used that one a time or two...
Oh, I love this. Love love love it.
Next thing you know you'll be reading him THE GASHLY CRUMB TINIES by Edward Gorey or maybe UNCLE SHELBY'S ABZ BOOK by Shel Silverstein.
Sarah! Erica! Dede! Take your babies and flee!
I would not object to the ABZ book. It's a classic in my family. I love: "See Stanley the Kidnapper? Stanley has a lollipop. Stanley has a keen car," and "G is for Gigolo" (I always laughed along with the older people on that page, even though I didn't know what it meant. Oh, to be naive...).
(The above was me. I can't stand leaving typos.)
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